It’s Time To Clean Shit Up (Metaphorically)

After months of hiding under puffed coats and umbrellas, spring has sprung and we’re finally getting rid of that extra layer of winter fat, metaphorically speaking (or not). You might also be feeling your inner Marie Kondo awaking from her winter slumber. While It’s easy to sort through your closet and bookshelves, suppose you suddenly had the super power to throw a place or a hated trend out and onto the eternal trash heap of history? We put the question to our Cousins from 8 different cities. So far, only Lisbon is perfect, just as it is.

Milan: Vogue Fashion Night out

I don’t think there are events to clean and delete in Milan.. oh wait.. maybe one: the Vogue Fashion Night Out in September. I don’t like it, it’s not a “fashion event”, just the occasion to wear your glitter dress you bought for New Year’s Eve. Then: during Expo there was a great area near Porta Genova Station called “Mercato Metropolitano”, where you could find lot of small places to eat and buy street food from all over Italy. After Expo the area became unused and it’s a pity! I would like to reopen the Mercato Metropolitano, especially in the Sping-Summer-Autumn period – and add more flower markets on the Navigli area, more “hipster”/vintage markets in the weekends (they are too few and not well communicated). I would like to have in Milan the typical Londonese markets (like Spitalfields market, Shoreditch market, Broadway/Hackney market).

TLV: Huge Events For People Who Deeply Hate TLV

I’m going to be terribly mean for a minute (and maybe banal), but TLV has an awful tradition of making huge events that are mainly intended for bringing people from out of town to party at the city center. I say – NO! Maybe it’s part of the reason Trump won the last US elections, but I think it’s a real laugh that people who say they hate TLV and all the liberals in it most of the time, decide to drop everything a couple times a year and spend a night in TLV, in a lousy party organised by the mayor. No, thank you. You are truly welcome here, like everyone, but we’re not going to take this “we hate liberals” bullshit the whole year long, and then host you in our home. #SorryNotSorry.

Berlin: Foreigners Talking Shit About The City

I would sweep away all the people that come from somewhere else and tell some shit about this city. For example these Akte Sat. 1 people that made this documentary about the Kottbusser Tor calling it the most dangerous place in Germany or the people that talk about the dangerous Görlitzer Park and its evil drug dealers… If not them I would sweep away all the racists and bad minded people and maybe the winter in Berlin! 😉

London: Too Much Litter In The Streets

I would love to see a cleaner London. What breaks my heart is the amount of litter found in this incredible city, and mostly right next to the bins that are overflowing. Yes, there are way more people living here than other capital cities, however there is that saying, ‘many hands make light work.’ Perhaps if we all did our bit to be more conscious about what we consume and how we dispose of our wastes in our own homes, then we can create a louder, collective voice and ask for what we need from our councils and government.

Paris: Violent Police Officers

I would sweep away some of the militarized steroid police force, some of them of course are fantastic, important and honorable but far to many sick people amongst their ranks and it really has an negative effect especially on Arab and African communities.

NYC: Less Parking Garages, More Green Public Spaces

If I had to Spring clean New York (besides cleaning the literal garbage that is a constant home to our wonderful subway system) I would love the clean away the many NYC Parking garages with some more leveled small green public spaces. Central Park is great, but New York can also benefit to smaller parks to dip in and out and sit somewhere else than our offices. On a similar note I would love to clean away some space on streets for bigger, better and safer bike lanes. Trend wise, I would love to see more speciality filter coffee shops where you can choose your own beans/brew. Everyone loves classic filter, but having a choice of how my coffee is brewed is the ultimate New York bourgeois move (and we could always do with more coffee). Also I would love replace some of our many awesome IPAs with some hard cider culture. I love both but nothing is better hard cider over ice on a hot day, and the American cider game is great and needs more love (especially during the upcoming Spring months!)

NYC: Goodbye Times Square

This was a tricky question until I remembered the absolute worst block in all of NYC: 42nd Street between 8th and 7th Avenue. What a shit show. It’s super-touristy and claustrophobic for no reason, with packs of people flowing in and out of Applebee’s and Dave and Buster’s and Coldstone Creamery. I can understand why Times Square is an international attraction, but I’d rather lick the floor of a Starbucks bathroom than spend more than 5 minutes walking down that strip of 42nd. Ok, maybe not, but you get the idea.

Rome: Stop Complaining

To me, there is no area in Rome to be swept away in a spring clean. But if I had an efficient broom, I would clear away a certain complaining attitude people can have here, replacing it with curiosity, activism and care and love for the beauty Rome definitely is.

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