Unicorn Food: Everything That’s Wrong With The World

In case you didn’t get the memo, unicorns have shifted in the last few years from the majestic mythical creatures we like to imaging to a viral monster gruesomely dominating Instagram. From inflatable pool toys to hair colors, unicorns are everywhere and it was just a matter of time until we got us some “unicorn food”.

After the unicorn cake and the unicorn toast, Starbucks recently joined the instagrammable trend and unveiled their unicorn frappuccino. It seems like everyone (including Katy Perry) rushed to take a selfie with the photogenic beverage, so we asked some of our cousins if they were drinking the unicorn rainbow Kool-aid, and they were pretty unified about this one.

I haven’t had a chance to buy into the unicorn-themed trend and I’m not too desperate to try it either. I love a good Instagram feed, but I think like a lot of fast moving trends of indulgent sweets (i.e Chin Chin hot chocolate/doughnut milkshakes) the unicorn food trend will die out. It’s popular for it’s aesthetic, not its flavour. While, I don’t take any issue with this, I just don’t have any particular desire to try it because I think usually you’ll find that flavour is compromised for the aesthetic.

I just came back from America this morning. One of the things I miss most about the states are my Chai Lattes from Starbucks. That being said, I frequented Starbucks in the 2.5 weeks I was in the States and the ridiculous Unicorn Frap smacked me in the face each time.

I asked the barista one day about it. He said it tastes gross, and it’s annoying to make. I told him (as someone in marketing) that it was obviously just created to have people take pictures of it, and from that standpoint, genius. As we had this conversation a group of middle school girls walked in and he sighed, knowing what they were about to order. And then, well then I saw this video of a Starbucks barista ranting about the Unicorn frap and it made me smile so big.

So, I tell you all this because I WOULD NEVER TRY THIS. I love and respect coffee too much to ever drink a frappuccino, let alone a unicorn one. In regards to the other unicorn food, I see it as a way to occupy people for the moment until the new trend comes along. In a world dominated and ruled by social media – at the top of mind for everyone, in any industry, is: “is this photo worthy?” Any unicorn, anything, is.

I have little patience for trendy food items (like this one), or dessert spots where people are willing to wait up to 4x hours for an ice cream cone, or a serving of cookie dough. It steals the attention away from the phenomenal restaurants that all cities have, and the tiny family-owned classics that could really use the help, and media attention. These trends usually explode and then fizzle out in a matter of weeks or months, and the only reason to care or participate is for Instagram likes.

I haven’t had a chance to try it yet. The Starbucks drink looks a little gross to me and most of my friends who tasted it hated it, so I’ll give that one a pass. But I do love how pretty some of these unicorn toasts look. I would give that a spin.

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