Vacation horror stories

Kendrick Lamar said he’s sick and tired of the photoshop, and we try to do whatever he says (including that time we swam in a swimming pool of liquor). So, instead of another ridiculous #wanderlust Instagram pic, we asked some of our cousins to get real about their worst travel experiences. Conclusion: shit definitely happens, but it happens a lot less if you use our Cool Cousin app. Guaranteed.

Lousiest Travel Agent Ever

Ten years ago we planned a family trip to Hawaii. Since the internet wasn’t that developed in our day to day life we booked our trip through a travel agency. We arrived there and the hotel that was supposed to be a 5 stars hotel was a 5 stars Condominium! No beach access, horrible room. We were super disappointed and our travel agent was useless, as it was impossible for her to find a way to change our hotel because it was high season. We traveled so far and had no access to the beach at all because the condo was inland. Anyway we booked a car and traveled all our stay to visit all the island and all it’s beaches. Since the internet arrived in our daily lives, we have completely changed the way we travel and never experienced a bad vacation no more!

Freakiest Hotel Ever

My worst holiday incident was during a trip in China. After a few days in Shanghai and the beautiful Guillin, my friend and I decided that we were going to check out what is supposed to be ‘the second most beautiful waterfall in China’.

So we stayed in Nanning for a night, a convenient spot to take a 5-hour bus ride to the Detian waterfalls the next day. Not a very touristy spot, we noticed that the odd English-speaker was starting to become very sparse in Nanjing and were very reliant on Google translate and a few key phrases in mandarin written on pieces of paper, in case we would need them.

The bus ride was long… and stuffy…we couldn’t wait to arrive. We finally arrive and decide to quickly drop off our bags at one of the only hotels in surrounding the waterfall. It felt a bit like a ghost town.

We come to the hotel with the matching address to our reservation, and get a bit of a shock. There is a reception, but no one behind the desk. There is a clock, but the time is wrong and seems frozen in the same spot. Basically – an abandoned hotel, and no one around! We were running around, asking for help, but no one spoke a word of English – and they didn’t understand the words on our pieces of paper (no network to use Google translate at this stage). My friend and I freaked out and contemplated taking the last bus back to Nanning, setting off in the next 15 minutes. But I insisted we find at least another hotel – the other hotel turned out to be the one. And the waterfalls? That wasn’t the most memorable part of the trip.

Worst Weather Ever

So l went once to Central America, to Nicaragua, and as I leave the airport it begins to rain. I ask the driver when the rain’s going to stop and he says in November. It was September. I end up sitting for two weeks in a shitty hotel looking out at the rain, just me and an American fugitive who was hiding out and a Greek woman with hairy hands who was waiting for someone. Eventually, the American fucked the Greek. After two weeks I ran away to Costa Rica, where it was just as rainy but also everything was double the price that it was in Nicaragua and an Israeli girl who listened, on repeat, to a Rami Kleinstein Album (a mainstream Israeli singer) wouldn’t leave me alone. It really was the worst vacation in the history of vacations and I’m only sorry that I didn’t document in writing every minute I was there because every single second was worse than the one before.

Here’s another story: I was in Columbia and I met this gorgeous half-Ethiopian half-Scottish chick who was living in England. But nothing happened between us, because I had a girlfriend and all that. And then, a few months later (this was before Facebook), I went to England supposedly for a football game. Hapoel vs. Chelsea. But really I just wanted to see her. I was broke ass poor and I got a loan from the bank to go, and as I stepped on the plane, from all the stress that I’m finally going to get laid, my herpes broke out. I got to England, saw the game, and came home.

Worst Tennis Match Ever

Sri Lanka; August 2014 – I took a ​vacation after I recovered from a massive car accident and on the first day I played Tennis after the accident and I twisted my ankle and sprained it. On the second day of the trip, I needed a piggyback ride and I limping for the rest of our stay. The one thing that did come from it was the I understood that even Ayurveda doesn’t have a real cure for a sprained ankles. It’s only time.

Worst Everything Ever

As a child, when I was approximately 10-years-old, I went to Chamonix-Mont-Blanc on a vacation with my little sister, my parents, my cousin and his family. One day we decided to take a lift up the mountain and hike down afterwards. After a short time we got to a crossroad and took the way down the mountain from there. What we did not know and what the sign did not tell us was that this way was only for the summer months of the year and so after ten minutes we slid down the mountain for like 20 meters and weren’t able to get back up again. Some minutes later my dad rolled down the mountain for like 50 meters. We then recognized that we should not walk further and decided to find a place to stay. My father tried to walk down the rest of the mountain to find the Alpine Rescue Service as there weren’t any mobile phones back then. Some hours later a helicopter arrived and pulled us up with a rope to bring us back to the flatland again. I am traveling a lot and there are many bad stories of my vacations (heartbreaks, thieves, injuries and whatever you could imagine) but it never got this bad again.

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